Welcome to Spicy's new (verrrry spicy) website. pretty cool eh? Cooler than Ryan Fitzmagic in a chain at a post game press conference. Cooler than AC after a September home game. Cooler than Brent Grimes Ex Wife (well, thats an easy one, she sucked) .
WELCOME TO THE NEW WEBSITE. This will be the home for all my stupid takes, Bucs thoughts, and of course allllll the Memes.
And 4 my first article on this new. spicy, website -- we will be going with a THROWBACK, to an old article that I wrote back in April of 2020. This was right after we signed TOM BRADY, but also in he middle of a global pandemic. Spicy wasn't sure if we would even have an NFL season....
If only I knew what MAGIC Tom Brady would perfom on this franchise.
Here is a link to the old article (on a previously failed Bucs website I tried to do. Big failure, think Chris Baker.)
And pasted below...
##Dr. Buc's Burner Article Thing##
Published: 4/5/2020
The year is 2010. The top songs on the Billboard 200 are Tik Tok by Kesha, Need you Now by Lady Antebellum and Hey Soul Sister by Train. The top of the Box office is occupied by Avatar, Toy Story 3 and Inception. The iPhone 4 is fresh on the market, Double Rainbow is the most popular video on YouTube, and Netflix is released on the app store.
In the same year the "Youngry" Tampa Bay Buccaneers are coming off a promising 10-6 season led by the rookie 17th overall pick and "franchise quarterback" out of Kansas State, Josh Freeman. The back field is lead by a rookie running back who is known for his punches as much as his hurdles, in LeGarrette Blount's 1000+ yard season. The receiving corps boast rookie Mike Williams almost eclipsing 1000 yards and Tight end Kellen Winslow Jr (before he needed a lawyer more than a helmet). Barret Ruuuuuuuud leads the defense with rookie Gerald McCoy starting 13 games before he started hiring snow cone makers for the off season.
The Bucs were a botched offensive pass interference call in a week 15 battle with the Detroit Lions, on a Kellen Winsolw Jr touchdown called back in the south end zone of Raymond James from making the playoffs.
Everything was looking promising. The Bucs were led by a trio of rookies and a young head coach in Raheem Morris. The pewter pirates had "recently" (in a Bucs fans terms) been to the playoffs in 2007.
Fast Forward 10 Years. The Bucs have a record 49-95 W/L since then. We have ran through a combination of coaches in defensive back icon Raheem Morris, Rutgers Legend Greg Schiano, Chicago man Lovie Smith, is he a coach or an offensive coordinator Dirk. The Bucs have had more MRSA breakouts, than playoff appearances since.
In seasons where us Bucs fans get more excited for mock draft season, than the post season. There have been 3 constants in Life in time from being a bucs fan since:
- Death
2a. Taxes
2b. Missed Field Goals
- Disappointment
So what all has changed in the time since in 2020? We have hired 2x coach of the year Bruce Arians, and have boasted some of the top offenses in recent years amongst NFL teams. The fan base has been semi-divided by the roller-coaster of a Bucs tenure in first overall selection Jameis Winston. In his career with the Bucs he broke numerous franchise records in passing, but has been plagued by turnover issues.
BUT THERE IS HOPE.
Somehow, out of no-where, from the parking lot, in an Aaron Rodgers type Hail-Mary, the Bucs landed the hottest free agent since Tiger Wood's lawyer, in TOM BRADY.
Yes, THE Tom Brady. The 6x super bowl winner. 3x NFL MVP and well, the greatest quarterback of ALL TIME.
Wait what?
Yes, somehow Jason Licht and Bruce Arians convinced the future HOFer to leave the arguably most successful franchise in NFL history, in the the NE Patriots & his marriage with Bill Bellicheck, and ended up in Tampa Bay, which is home to the lowest winning percentage franchise in the 4 major sports realm, in the a dreadful .387 winning percentage.
The offense is loaded with All-Pro WR Mike Evans (and his 6 consecutive 1000+ yards season since entering the NFL) and breakout Penn State star in Chris Godwin. We boast a nice tandem of tight ends in past NFL tight end TD leader (and any TV announcer will let you know, Harvard Grad) Cam Brate & first round hasn't lived up to expectations but still shows promise OJ Howard. The running back position shows promise in 3rd year man Ronald Jones, with potentially help coming in the draft.
The defense brags the #1 rush defense in the NFL, led by Lavante David and Devin White ( RIP Daisy Mae). We have the NFL's reigning sack leader in Bucs free agent legend Shaq Barret (nice one Jason). Shaq is next to Vita Vea, JPP, and Suh. Our young secondary remains the question mark, but showed vast improvement from the first half to the second half of the 2019 season.
The NFL is increasing the playoff teams to 7 teams per conference, a raise from the traditional 6 teams per conference, adding an additional wildcard spot.
So the Bucs seem like a LOCK to make the playoffs next season right?
Right?
Oh shit, I forgot to mention the world is currently in the midst of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC.
Just our luck.
We finally show promise of becoming a winning team, ending the NFL's longest playoff drought of 12 years. But oh shit we have COVID-19 making it illegal to leave the country or eat at an Applebee's.
Just. Our. Luck.
I know there is obviously bigger problems in the world than the Bucs and the NFL in these pandemic, but this is an article about the Bucs & the NFL, so don't cry.
We FINALLY receive national attention via signing the best QB to ever play the game in Tom Brady. Aaaaaaaand the we don't even know when the next down of football will be played. With a loaded scheduled prepared for prime-time games (wait, I'm a Bucs fan... What's a "Primetime Game") in the Saints 2 times, Green Bay, the Super Bowl champs Chiefs, & the Lions potentially on thanksgiving in Detroit.
Sigh......
If the COVID-19 person was a corner back it would be EJ biggers, because it sucks.
If it was a safety it would be a mix of Chris Conte (on MNF vs the Steelers) with Sabby Piscitelli, because it sucks.
F************ this.
Hopefully life can go back to normal, like Roberto Aguayo missing a chip shot FG, and football can resume.
Hopefully Tom can lead us to a 2002 type season, featuring the Lombardi trophy, a NFC south sweep and a sold out Raymond James on a weekly basis.
In the meantime, stay inside, stay safe, never eat half of sushi, never kick the ball directly to Devin Hester, and never trade up for a kicker in the second round.
end rant
-Dr Buc (Spicy)